04 June 2009

Cherished Hearts Over The Phone Become Sparkling Angels

In life you will find...that there are tiny, little, loving treasures, as small as one of the sands of time...that a lot of times can be overlooked...because you blinked...or because you just couldn't look past your own misery...that turn out to be priceless jewels...that money just can't buy.
And if you're are incredibly blessed...they will remain in your life here...and way up there in heaven...
For the times that I cared enough to look...I thank God...and then keep looking for them every chance I get.
In my very different life...I've been with a major airline for 12 years. I'm the guy frantically working to get you on your way...quickly, efficiently, safely...and with great CARE. I, as you can imagine, meet so many people 1 by 1...and I won't remember a name...but always a face...and if given the opportunity that I always try for...small talk, that sometimes turns to heart talk...and we both walk away kind of teary and feeling, "Touched By An Angel"... because we really were...

That is what I live for...the glimpses into the lives of a many different people. I love that I'm able to meet them all...take a peek into their many different lives...and see for myself where God is in their mind, thoughts, hearts and souls. Hey, mean people, or my interpretation of mean people, aren't those that are frustrated and just having a bad day...Mean people forget to look for the tiny things...instead of keeping and grabbing all they can...even at the expense of someone else's livelihood.
My mission is to help people find those sands in time...

This is the story of me finding the most sparkling blue white fire priceless gem...

I switched careers within my company. I taught myself...a month long course of international ticketing...thrown to the wolves...hands on...learning quickly...from ticket, to person to listening...then fixing, selling...or changing all that tiny writing on the bottom of your ticket...the red flimsy ones and the blue card...

You see something like this.

250.00ttl bosiad 120.00/iadpdx 120.00/ bos1.00ay 1.00xt 1.00zp 2.00us pdxiad 2.50ay 1.00us 1.00xt .5000 zp bosiadpdxiad 140.00 10.00ay end

If you think that's f'd up you should see me with a round the world ticket...with so many rules, restrictions, entry requirements, visas, schengen visa, less than x amount of transfer time from fratlvdbx...etc...this, believe it or not is kind of logic and creativeness...and brainstorming.
All the while...I get to enjoy the people...some of my favorites are the family of four that saved 5 years to take their kids to Disney...the parents, saving every dime, working so hard and long for this event...and (most of the time they are innocently clueless, nervous, and having NO clue about the protocols of taking a flight or ,taking a flight these days for that matter but, they, in their skittishness, are so proud) they are just as excited as the kids...or to the uber wealthy daily business flyer...that could buy and sell the airport and airline...with loose money in his pockets asking, "hey, again Mr J...did my upgrade clear? How's Nana, Mom and Tom...see you in 2 days..."

Again, I have to say...I love them all.

Sometimes, rarely...no matter what you do...it's almost like, you want to get a hold of "Michael, The Arch Angel"... to burn up a violent, bigoted moron...that you can never get them to come out of the mindset of new money, ridiculous expectations of self righteousness, superiorism, and their elitist demands.

I usually can turn a raging storm into a baby's sigh with a glare and a loud voice of me controlling the situation...putting out the fire...by saying, "I can't work with you...I don't like your condescending attitude...and quite frankly I'm a bit threatened by your loud voice and it's tone...so, I'm the good guy...I'm here to help...so come down here for a minute and we'll talk..."

I've been...most of my adult life, around great wealth...I was never impressed with cash, stocks, land or shares...homemade peach cobbler, from the market bagger, that took me on a date to the dog park...that impresses me. I think a lot of my relationships were from people of wealth...trying to be a pompous, show off to me on a date berating the waitress...to the point of me excusing myself to the bathroom...and not affording to but, it was the "Right Thing To Do"...giving the young waitress a cheer up pep talk...validating her as a human...and trying to get across from my life experience...to forget about people like them...pray for them...for they are pathetic. "Now" I would say as we start laughing, "Where is the back door to this place...I gotta get out of here..."

A lot of people tried to bring me down, hurt me, belittle me...so massively, that no matter what my faith is or was...or my feelings of self worth, which they quickly learned...were next to zero at points in my life. (I was in a very weird business where you're taken at a price...not talent...and you had best succumb to their demands for you to work...that you were told to live in the gym...don't get a pimple...watch your weight...you're up a few, Mr Ford...and did you ever think of wearing green contacts...designed especially for you...etc...It's all corporate greed now, some entertainers have talent, some are just a synthetic products of Hollywood ceo's...a synth'd voice...pec muscle implants or nose jobs (that one I'm guilty of, but I can breathe better...haha) and HUGE marketing for a poor soul that has know idea what they are getting into.)
So with them knowing this about me...and even worse, knowing I was so lonely for someone that...I would go down in flames.Just as they wanted. Sometimes I think that in their huge wallets, there was nothing they could pull from it that would knock me out...I guess, at that time, I was a face for people...and in those relationships...it had nothing to do with the affairs of the heart. Not for those I went with (sometimes for years) anyway.

I'm in a relationship now almost 6 years strong...with a very different kind of person...but I've met my soul mate...God delivered when I was ready...on his terms. And you almost NEVER expect it...Love at first sight, some call it. Whatever...it's real. I've never been the same. If I left the planet tomorrow...Now that I am complete with God...love...intamicy...open heart and mind and eyes...I would feel that I, "really did see it all" with my lessons learned (I believe in lessons learned not mistakes) and I would leave, without a doubt, knowing that Life...sometimes painful, yes...was well worth the ride while on my mission.

Back to my priceless, blue white fire...shining gem...

I'll tell you a little later, as I've got to run to the market. I remember when I could send somebody to the market...I'm glad I dig doing things with Tom and/or myself.

Be back shortly...


01 June 2009

Addictions. Where it took me...and how I walked away. This will be an ongoing thread of my recovery...and my Full Circle return...

The above photos are the loving people God blessed me with...those that didn't walk away...even in my darkest hours...My heroes, my heart and soul...forevermore...

To the many that have unconditionally loved, supported, had faith in me, picked me up again and again...with out condition. The whole "Full Circle" story is posted on another site. It's well explained. It's about where I was...who I met along the way...those that walked away from me...and those who stayed to fight the incredible demons of addiction with me. I'm Full Circle...like life, love and the planet...coming back to give back what was so freely given to me.

I would like to post here my letter to Lydia Cornell. I was staying in Marina Del Rey...and I sent her an email. We met up a few times. I met her husband and sons...and went to their beautiful home in Beverly Hills for dinner. We ran down memory lane...and what a lane it was.
I used to live 1 block West and 1 block North from Lydia...yes, we were neighbors...Thank God.

Dear Lydia...Funny how things come full circle...like life, the planet...like love, no beginning...and no end.I've written a couple of stories for CNN that they took. Some about family, politics, God...and the sins of greed...and the joy of little cherished things that we take for granted.Thank you for starting my journey...at the very beginning (with a lot of patience and a lot of love) to a clear open mind...eyes wide open...not jaded...just aware...watching and experiencing the joy of God's blessings (his gifts) to us. I'm fully aware...but I will always somewhat maintain an innocence.I lost my grandmother in my arms a few months ago...it was just as amazing as how I lost my sister. In my heart...I would never grieve so bad that I would deprive her of what she worked so hard for (95 years)...the gift of heaven.I would like to let you read my story sometime.Anyway, back to "the full circle" thing.I have been blessed with so many people in my life...including you...that unconditionally loved me...had faith in me...gave me many chances...and believed in me so much that you guys picked me up and dusted me off again and again...and pointed me to my journey on the planet.I'm here in L.A. staying on the Marina. I'll be here until Thursday. I've been set onto yet another mission...to come full circle and help someone that helped me immensely.My "Aunt" Inez was my neighbor in Beverly Hills. She lived in the city from 16-81. When her apartment was acquired by a new "greedy" owner...he illegally evicted seniors and 2 disabled people. They didn't know their rights. They didn't know it was illegal (at that time) they didn't know the resources they were eligible for...They were banished from their kingdom...the only place they knew...to the streets with a promise of $ 5,000.My friend worked until her mid 70s. She was an old time switchboard operator at a hotel...and then for almost 40 years as the elevator operator at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel...She was rewarded 600.00 in retirement. She didn't know about SSI, Medical, Prescription coverage...or anything. She sleeps in a sleeping bag on the floor in a shoe box room on South Croft Ave...East of the Beverly Center. You can't remove an 86 year old woman from the only place familiar to her. Her rent is close to $700.00...it scares me to think where she got the "extra" to help her cover her bills.I came from Boston to help. Not for accolades...not for points...just for the only "right thing to do". No one else would help. I do a lot of work for the people who can't, won't or don't know how to. I have a lot of doors slammed in my face. So, God bless her, my grandmother taught me to either open another door OR if there are no options...kick it down.My friend now has SSI...medical insurance...prescription insurance...and someone to check in on her. Now she has some vitamins in her...and she has come "full circle" from the dark of Night...to face in the Sun.Seniors paved the way for us. They worked so hard for everything we have. They always did the right thing.Seniors are now discarded, dismissed and forgotten.I kicked down some doors.On this journey, I won't forget what I've seen and learned...and I will never be the same...in a good way.Sorry to reference my grandmother again...but, she raised me...she raised 4 kids during the depression...single handily when her wife beating husband walked out. She maintained her faith in God...and Mom's are survivors...she relied on God and Faith...and she always did the right thing...Here was her simple rules to life...God does not have many demands on us.He wants us to do the very best we can.Love one another.Enjoy his blessings on HIS planet.Always do the right thing.And when your journey is complete...he will take to home.As, we are all heirs and heiresses to God's Kingdom.I LOVE you Lydia...I follow your writings. You have helped to empower me to do the right thing.I have no false illusions.I hope you and your beautiful family are safe and well.I wish you prosperity in God's blessings.I hope you are still enjoying the fruits of life....and I hope you are still always doing the "Right Thing"...

Full circle.

Full circle.

Much love,

Jim and Tom

This is among the many of the stories I want to reach out and help people with. Addiction is a disease...hard to kick...but you need HELP. God...never left you...you return to him...and call on family, friends and professionals.

I choose NOT to keep it a secret.

It's like...shhh. Don't tell anyone Jim was at a party again, up in the Hollywood Hills...with Big Time You Know Who...and he was drinking Dewars' Scotch...one after the other...and OMG...he put everything up his nose but a BUS...and did you know...

The stories about me go on and on...I'll set the record straight for me and many. You will get the "REAL STORY"...I promise.

This is a video of Stevie Nicks talking about her REAL STORY about drugs. This I will tell you...I've been there. I don't recommend that journey and if I can prevent just one person (I hope many) from taking the same path I did...it's worth my existence here. I hope to tell people about how I've learned and traveled down many of lives paths...THE HARD WAY. And I hope from one of my true stories...others will choose differently...and maybe the paths to what needs to be achieved for our goals won't be easy...but, I hope to help people prevent the pain and sadness.

I've been right where Stevie was. It hurt. Bad.

God Protect and Bless Farrah Fawcett

The woman was so famous that people would just buy magazines because her photo was in it. Then "The Enquirer" and "The Star" would put a new picture of her on their front page from time to time with the by line, "There are no Farrah Fawcett Stories This Week..."

I followed Farrah's career...up to today. I feel like I somehow betrayed her for not watching her "biography" play out on TV. She is a brave, TALENTED woman with a huge heart. Yeah, sometimes the "media" wasn't so kind to her...regarding her movie roles. IE "Somebody Killed Her Husband" and "Sunburn". And in her personal life ie Lee Majors and Ryan O'Neil and her recovering son...that she adores, Redmond. I knew she was better than that. I just had a hunch.

The play she was starring in that led to the movie, "Extremities" knocked me and the world out!

Farrah has talent!!!

The TV roles and Movie roles subsequent to that meaty role she played so well, were now recognized as "Best Actress" material. The "Burning Bed" also knocked us out.

I look at Farrah now...with tears in my eyes...as she is saying a painful "good-bye" to her billions of fans. I'm sad, of course but, Hey...Look at her life, her masterpieces and accomplishments...right up to the final hours she's living. Bringing awareness to Rectal Cancer. I hope people are now aware that there was next to NO FUNDING for any kind of research during the last administration for cancer like hers...or any other illness for that matter. No one in the "House" seemed to care...All eyes were supposed to be on the "War" as we were robbed blind and stripped of our rights as private citizens.

Things are changing...I feel the Electricity. The Right side is furious that the changes are working...the evil one's are plotting the worst for Obama and his wonderful, righteous Administration, with our best interest at heart. NOT MR and MRS Moneybags ONLY!

I would like to offer a quick all encompassing prayer...for those that "don't believe" just skip this part...

Dear God, Jesus, Mary and all the Angels...

Here we are again, here I am again touching base.

Please help us that want to heal. Please look at Farrah and the people like her
That are in so much pain but choose to think of their mission
Through their agony...
Thank you for all our blessings...
Please bring awareness of your
"Always with me" presence.
I know you never left me
That's why I'm still here.
Thank you for Lydia Cornell....
The very first person to tell me what was going on with me...when I was in withdrawl from my addictions.
When I was so sick...
Please heal the those afflicted with diseases.
Please heal those afflicted with addiction.
Please put "healers" in the path of people that need them the most.
Thank you for letting me be there...always.
Thank for never letting go.
Thank you for letting me opt for different paths...
Thank you for letting me and many teach about certain paths from hard experience.
I love you
Full Circle
Please continue to Bless and Protect us all...
Farrah Fawcett wasn't just one of Charlie's Angels...She was everyone's Angel...
Jim Hillis