2012 Blessings JAMES HILLIS FORD...The Passage

The Blessings
0f 2012

Reflecting on this year almost gone by...
I am going to recall the very best...

And...

What broke my heart
and how I realize those times were all
blessings too...

The passage of time...

The opening of eyes...
wide with wonder...

The closing of eyes...
missing them forever...

I will spin a piece of prose...

In the next few days...

Designed for the people i love the most.

You
you...

Much love
For you...

James Hillis Ford
with help from my best friend...

Lydia Cornell

To be continued...

Lydia Cornell & James Hillis Ford: A LOVE STORY

Your Space In Time.....Authoring YOUR Life's Story

Turning many pages on the book. Closing many...becasue, I'm writing the final sentance on alot of open pages. Specifically, the pages on how God answered my prayers...Time, AND my space in time, is a funny thing...I know I'll go on forever but, it's not for me to question, "why didn't I just listen to the answers to my questions sooner OR so long ago? I feel no guilt or shame, I'm a mortal human being...just like you...and when I was ready and strong enough to face the answers...The light flickered, grew and ignighted in full blue/white flames. I do my best to be right here writing this...AND opting for taking my passionate paths instead of being afraid of them...and I'm hoping you'll understand what I'm sharing with you...man to you, heart and soul...I've already done everything you're doing...I can tell you about the paths I've taken...Maybe it'll make your roads easier and lighter. A major answer is delivered for the umpteenth time, if you place all of YOU and your TIME into The Fear of the paths you want to take...You'll be sitting in Fear for time immemorium...you'll look in the mirror...see silver streaks in your hair...and still be in fear that you never took those chances or those paths...

Now is the best time...it's all you've got. Tomorrow never comes. Yesterday was just another page in your book of life's lessons,legends and YOUR STORY. Opt for facing life without fear...God and All of us are here doing it everyday too...So, c'mon...you're not dead yet. Write a best seller...and never be afraid of love.

Much love,

Jim

Mitt Romney Cashes In At The Expense Of The Poor And Dying. Now, He Was Forced To Reveal He Hides His Dirty Taxless Cash. I am so in need of a dentist...maybe I should ask, Mitt

I am so ashamed of Mitt Romney.

Not because he looks, acts...and is similar to my old drug dealer...one of my closest friends was working a Union Contract Construction Site...he was walking with another employee as they were carrying long pieces of wood for beams.  Kenny was the guy at the front...he also fell 9 stories to the ground.  The safe area they were working in...suddenly became an "unsafe" area.  Romney was the governor of Massachusetts.  A lot of this stuff happened.  Ken telescoped one leg up to his hip.  He shattered his knees.  He crunched disks in his back...you get the picture.  He was disqualified for insurance by the Union and The Contract Owners.  He wore a cast, a makeshift thing...he was given heavy pain meds...to shut him up, probably.  He had a mortgage, disabled parents, a young sister in his care...Somehow, the pain medicine Doctor stopped Kenny's pills.  OxyContin, Dilaudid, Percocet, a patch.  Now, opportunity knocks for a mean, heartless, bad ass, murderer...drug dealer.  He charged $80.00 a pill for Oxy 80mg.  The women in the neighborhood (upscale kind of neighborhood....on the beachfront) were suddenly all over Kenny...husbands pimped their wives out...all for the most expensive form of heroin in the late 90s to 2000s.  Ken was a nice looking guy...he and his friends called me the chick magnet...I always met the girls...people don't scare me.  Mitt Romney and his crimes scare me. 
So, Kenny has this huge drug bill...the dealer gave him what looked like 3lbs of sugar in a block.  Very fine Peruvian flake cocaine.  This dealer...this idiot murderer wanted him to sell it to the kids in the neighborhood.  That wasn't Kenny's design.  He was a nice looking guy...he loved the kids in the neighborhood, every 4th of July...he had the city close the street in his beach community for the best time.  He made the best ChexMix...he didn't' drink...he had a lust for life.  He loved people...and he had his love returned full circle.  He wasn't weird-ed out that I was gay or maybe still bi...I forget.
One of the pimped out  neighborhood wives really had him going.  I went into rehab, went bankrupt, and my sister died in my arms, I was going through an abusive break up, and I had too much demand on me at work re International Customs...I was contracted to Swiss Air for a year.
Kenn in his messed up state believed this woman was going to escape to Southern California...he would sell the house, get his sister...lies lies lies...for drugs for herself and husband.
Ken disappeared for a few days.  He called me with condolences.  One more time I was going to try and gently let him know that the wife is gross, a liar, is of a class where husbands pimp them out for drugs...I think in the days he was gone...he knew it.  He knew he had a hard habit to kick...there was no California...he was in heavy duty danger from the Mitt Romney looking drug dealer...in a Lexus or Mercedes...lacking beauty because slick hair drug man put fluorescent bulbs in the under carriage...once he had a convertible with 6 slick thugs sitting up on the seats.
Ken didn't say where he went.  He made sure I was ok.  He said he would meet me at my sisters wake.  My sister lived in the Fernald School.  This was a property with full medical staff to attend to severely disabled people.  My sister had to move there from home when she needed tubes for breathing and tubes for eating.  Patti lived in a bungalow on the grounds.  It was most like home.  4 rooms at the 4 corners of the building.  A nurses station was in the middle...listening, watching...dedicating their lives to people that don't have what we take for granted.  Walking, Getting new shoes...A Newbury St hairdo for a splurge.  Patti knew the differences between herself and others.  She could have existed miserably.  She chose, love, laughter, friends, music, company...She wasnt supposed to reach puberty.  She died a month before turning 40...I held her as the last whisper...and she took flight with the Angels Of Departure.  I'm telling you this because, Mitt Romney put into action that funding and facilities for loving humans to be in a safe, familiar haven.  The clients were so disabled they needed full staff...specialists.  Mitt Romney pulled the funding on funds and services for those living with such severe mental, physical retardation.  Now, I attend the meetings as the facility closed.  The town hall room is full of people that want a bus stop, trees, mini mall, affordable housing...etc...all at the sake of an innocent human beings life...and government funds to pay for it.  Its outrageous.  God took my sister just before it happened.
After my call with Ken...I was worried.  He wasn't right...and it wasn't just withdrawal...

When Kenny said, I love you...I'm sorry about all you're going through....but, I'll see you soon...
He hung up his cell phone call with me...called his city police dept...and he said, my name is Kenneth ....   I live at...and I'm shooting my brains out.

He shot the gun through the cell phone...

Goodbye, Patti.  I know you're in Heaven....thank you.

Goodbye, Kenny.  I know you're in Heaven...with all the hottest chicks...and you are pain free...thank you, Ken.

This is very long.  I hope you read it...and get the connections...

I hope you will find Mitt Romney...and his love for his neighbors...non existent.  He has hidden money in Swiss Accounts, Tropical Island accounts...he didn't pay taxes until he was investigated...and still, Slick Mitt in his foolish $235.00 hair do...color cut and gel.  Romney, you rich, selfish bastard...the hair was out in the 80s and with Reagan...You destroyed my state.  You profited off contracts given without the protocol of bidding...and choosing.

You profited of my sisters friends...her home...the safe place for people that need it.
Many clients have died due to being put into understaffed, overcrowded, homes with a minimum of unqualified staff.

A man, that had Cerebral Palsy just like my sister...and was very deformed (I hate that word) was jammed into one of these group facilities.  He died a violent, painful death.  It was deemed an accident but, how could a man with no control of his arms, legs, body movements...manage to unfasten the adult diaper in the back...pull the front tabs off...and take his dirty diaper...and jam in down his throat?  The diaper was barely visible as it was lodged so deep into the esophagus.

To those that suffer Mitt Romney's crimes, bribes, back pocket filling...and taking all his profit...and leave us here to perish...

Mitt Romney...I love you out of God's duty.

Mitt Romney...I don't like you.  Mitt Romney's ripple effect is still shattering residents here in Massachusetts.

When it is time for it to happen to you...I hope you get some help from a program that you flung out the window...

Poor Peoples Rights...

James Hillis Ford

PLEASE VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS AND BARACK OBAMA 2012! BECAUSE IF YOU THINK ITS BAD NOW, LOOK AT CONGRESS. THEY VETOED EVEN IF THEY GO DOWN WITH US. ITS ALL HATE CRIMES.

I did let you get to me...
I did let you scare me...
I did feel pain...
I did feel lonely...
I did feel undeserving...
I did feel like I didn't belong...
I did feel you take my strength...
I did let you steal what my grandmother blessed me with...
I did let you make me feel shame...


Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, Santorum, Cain, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Ann Coulter, Republican, Tea Party, GOP, GAY, gay marriage, president, God, Amendment, Same Sex,

But...only for a minute...as nightmares pass...

I would have died...
But for the support from President Barack Obama, Democrats, Liberals, My family, My Partner, My Mom...

Love Reigns...
And I am here...
Stronger

And the mission I am on...returning even stronger to say,
In my opinion...
Michele Bachmann starts and ignites hate and division...Michele Bachman, In my honest opinion...is the metaphorical, DEVIL.  She does not do the work of Jesus...she judges...she said recently to a teen at a meeting that gays cant be married it's against the law...there will be no extra protection for gays or gay rights...gays have the exact same rights as I do...and everyone else...you don't get anything extra. We all have the same constitutional Civil Rights...when asked if we all had the same civil rights why cant I marry a person of the same sex..,.back to her lying, corrupt, fear mongering rhetoric...she totally condescended to late teen asking questions.

Mitt Romney has destroyed so many lives in Massachusetts...he pulled funding for mentally retarded people that were on life support...he had so many contractually signed deal for his pocket...and believe me the Big Dig, Fernald School, Health Insurance, Gay Rights, Residence protection...HE LEFT US TO DIE>>>HE IS A LIAR>

RICK PERRY, IN MY OPINION...WANTS THE TASTE OF BLOOD...HE IS THE PERSON THAT SIGNED OFF MANY PEOPLE THAT WEREN'T PROVEN GUILTY...THEIR DEATH SENTENCE.  HE CRUCIFIES GAY PEOPLE...THESE ARE MY OPINIONS

NEWT GINGRICH  CALLED FOR PRESIDENT CLINTON'S IMPEACHMENT...HE WAS THE STRONGEST LOUDEST VOICE...DO YOU KNOW WHAT MR GINGRICH WAS DOING DURING ALL OF THAT TIMESPACE...SCREWING OTHER WOMEN...YES...HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE...AND HE HAS THE MARKS OF THE GUILTY...YET HE IS JUDAS.

BETTE MIDLER VIDEO WAS POSTED BECASUE DURING ALL THIS THE SONG MAKES ME FEEL BETTER...AND STRONGER...AND WISER...AND LOUDER...It is not mine and it's being used under the fair use act.

TO CALL OUT THE GOP CRIMINALS...AND DEMAND MY RIGHTS, MY MONEY, ME EQUALITY...MY EVERYTHING...AND I WILL CONTINUE...LIKE STEVIE SAID...I WILL FOLLOW YOU DOWN UNTIL THE SOUND OF MY VOICE WILL HAUNT YOU...YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY...NEVER GET AWAY...NEVER GET AWAY...

By the way...do you you know about the Bachmann/Romney audits being done?

As well as follow ups to investigating big big bad supporters cash...in their pockets...

I do...it's heavy...it smells...

And in my opinion...

They are the metaphorical serpents...here in the Garden Of Eden...

If you support painful death...
If you support Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Tea Party, Hate...
Please stop.
I love you too much.

Please support Mr President Barack Obama...

And vote for Democratic...people protecting Politicians...

You know who they are...

Just a little side note.

Did you know the GOP heavy congress has stopped every single solitary people benefiting, middle class to the poorest fairness acts...The Republicans vetoed everything...and lie about the intentions.

SO, if you think things suck because of the the president...look at what the Republicans are doing...they are in control...they are killing us...things could  be better...

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU TAKE AWAY HATE?
LOVE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS?  JUST A SUGGESTION...DON'T ASK A TEA PARTY EXTREMIST...OR ANYONE SUPPORTING UPCOMING COMMUNISM FROM THE GOPS IN OFFICE...AND RUNNING FOR PRESIDENCY.

LOOK RATHER AT THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE YOU HAVE WITH YOUR DOG...THE LOYALTY...

LOOK AT YOUR BABY...AND I SEE THE INNOCENT, WIDE EYES OF WONDER....LOVE....

PLEASE...DON'T SEND THEM TO HELL...THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING...

and i will be there helping all of you along the way...lets get back to love...

LOVE MISSES YOU...

My Response To The Most Recent Garbage Spewed From The Gates Of Hell. Eric Cantor and his dirty rotten mouth....And Then There Is Michele Bachman. Dismiss the Mich...she lies.

My Response To The Most Recent Garbage Spewed From The Gates Of Hell. Eric Cantor and his dirty rotten mouth....





by James Hillis Ford on Sunday, October 16, 2011 at 9:40pm

.







The following are the quotes from Eric Cantor. Most recently his response to the Americans Against Wall Street.

See my closing response at the end.



God Save Us.



"More important than my use of the word is that there is a growing frustration out there across the country and it is warranted. Too many people are out of work."



"Where I am most concerned is we have elected leaders in this town who are frankly joining in the effort to blame others rather than focus on the policies that have brought about the current situation," he said. "I mean, when you hear of the Democrat elected leaders joining in, blaming parts of our economy and society, versus 'let's take some of the credit or blame here in Washington.' These are policies they put in place, and a lot can be done here in this town to turn the economy around and promote income mobility, and not go in and excoriate some who have been successful. We want success for everybody."



"People are beginning to wake up and see a country they don’t really recognize,"



"The Tea Party were individuals that were attempting to address their grievances, seeking redress of their grievances, from the government they elected," he said. "It's different, from what I see, of the protesters on Wall Street and elsewhere, that are pitting themselves against others outside of government in America. That's the difference."



These quotes from Eric Cantor echo the current mass of the Republican/Tea Party/GOP finger pointing in a passive aggressive way.



First...Why are so many people out of work, Eric? Take a hard look at the policies and prejudices you support. Then when your finished dancing with the devil...come in out of the darkness and confess...



Second. Regarding your quote of Democrats joining forces with the American People...isn't that what good government is all about. Also, the blame piece...Eric, you and your Cancer growth party of the most cruel and sinister people I have ever witnessed...take your blame. Take the blame. This whole article was about you, Eric Cantor, sounding like the foot stomping, spoiled rotten metaphorical little sister, white dress, blue ribbons and tap shoes...crossed armed and lying about the dead cat she put in the blender...I didn't do it...not me...or the GOPs.



Finally, you don't want anyone to succeed. Only the high mukity mucks that throw you some cash for covering up murder. The Tea Party thing...they have been the most violent, anger stirring, racist, gun toting, barn groups. Lying to Americans, Instilling Fear...Inducing anger and fury into the mindset of the misguided and misinformed people...you know the ones, Quoting Fox Bullsh*** verbatim as facts...Rush loving, Beck supporting, Coulter hailing...sad, angry people...that will die early, young and miserable because they never were guided to love, heart...and peace. You have them on 24 hour watch over fake terrorists, democrat gun stealers, cap and trade...and the rest. Eric and all the rest of the Republicans like him...and to the GOP president racers...I am soooo ashamed of all of you...I really wish I could push, "mute" and shut you all up. Crazy, lying...and all for self profit.

Someone hand them out some water from one of the cities where there is a KOCH factory. Anyone?


Oh, just another unrelated thing...

I watched a YOUTUBE video of Michele Bachmann interviews...A million times her response to the questions about the FAMILY OWNED BUSINESS is, "...I'm running for the president of The United States Of America...my husband MARCUS BACHMANN isn't running for the United States Of America Presidency...my personal family business is not the real issue at hand here...Shall we talk about ObamaCare..."

Michele and Marcus Bachmann should never made their ugliness such a spectacle...I can't stop laughing at Marcus with his online credentials...he's not a real Doctor...And Michele Bachmann...going to the Oral Roberts Institute for her law degree...that's where the not soooo bright go to pony up dough to get shuffled along the system and get a degree in law.  By the way, Michele...I don't think you were being obedient to your master...Paul Lynde's clone, Marcus Bachmann.  You became a tax attorney because that is the only place for a "bright" girl like you.  Boy, can she stamp those papers...very good Michele.

Ghoulish Frauds...just in time for Halloween.

Even a guy like me can be a viper...I call out heroes...

And I expose the demons that care only about cash and weird fetishes like the Bachmann's...anyone into Disciplining Barbarians...They need to be disciplined and educated.

Well...that's funny.  Because, Michele Bachman and Marcus Bachmann should be disciplined and educated for the line of work they are in.

I think I would crack up in Marcus Bachmann's clinic.  With his perfectly coiffed hairdo...and his Paul Lynde style of speech...in a therapy session where he talks about my "Gay" sex life...and asks explanations and details...almost as if he wanted......

THE GOP HEAVY GOVERNMENT OF DECEIT, THEFT, LIES, SCANDALS...AND GUESS WHO? PRO LIFE GAY OBSESSED MICHELE BACHMANN

It's no secret I had a freelance assignment and a deadline to do an investigative report on Michele Bachmann.  I pulled every version of the fact checked, honest, brutal truth.  I read everything I could get my hands on...liberal and conservative views...I made calls...I watched videos and listened to tapes for days...for 3 brutal weeks.  I was becoming a changed man...and I didn't like who I was becoming...that man that was evolving was so sad...I mean HEAVY depressed, quick tempered, afraid, insulted, humiliated...and I realized...that's their Houdini.  That's the wolf in sheep skin...That is what they call "The DEVIL"...I was right where they wanted me...and where they are putting innocent people.  In a Master/Slave, Elite/Scum, Worthy/UnWorthy, Live/Die...They, including Michele Bachmann bitch about every people supporting piece of work brought forward was met at the door with a chainsaw...NO, F with the people of America!  I want my money back! The GOPs painted a deplorable, scary, untrue picture and with Media at their every finger snap...They are scaring the hell out of the heart of America.  The soul of America. The United States OF America...and they will NOT stop...a speeding train on a one way track...cannot railroad along forever.  There is that big hard wall...so strong...it leaves The United States...and all our honest, loving, families...everything our fore fathers and our families blood and grit...all our gifts...all our blessings...will go shattering past us...and it will be gone forever.  How does that sound?  Provocative enough?
The Tea Party...where the GOP VIPers...lie...scream...plan...the power of hate, anger, destruction, guns, propaganda...the tank keeps filling...Throw in bigotry...hatred for anybody that isn't a carbon (dioxide?) copy of them...The cauldron is brewing...

I need to tell The GOPs...to tell their fuc***** buddies...To stop the act of "pitting man against man...until man will exist no more..."

I want The Criminal Koch Bros...the ones that have paid over $55 million dollars in pollution fines alone...to come clean.  Do you really think that Scientific evidence...or better yet...you look at the murky skies, feel the acid radio active diesel fuel filled rain...take a swim in The Gulf of Mexico...get a tan in Antarctica...WAKE UP! People...if you all continue to be bullied by people that have your money...go ahead and sit and seethe in your despair...or get off your ass...research...find the truth...and quit voting for people that don't want anything from you but, your blood...and your money! Quit supporting politicians that get funding, hush money, bribes, off the books extreme transfer of cash...to pay for a person such as Michele Bachmann to destroy the EPA...and in her pitiful lying as she goes along  and on and on with the tired and stupid rhetoric about our need for Carbon Dioxide.  Its THE TOXIC LEVELES YOU LIED ABOUT FOR KWICK KOCH KASH SO, SHUT UP MICHELE!  I love you...but I'm begging for you to stop the annihilation of people that came from the SAME God as you.  You are mean.  Gay crimes,GAY LIES, GAY FACTS...NOT! Gay people, Gay suicide...GAY GAY GAY...is that how you blow out your long winded carbon dioxied noxious  gasess during your speeches? Are you playing a skipping album stuck on GAY?  What is your big obsession with Gay people?  You are blasphemous when you deliver a report that you call facts...to a growing group of fuel filled people...you keep filling the tank with your lies, creating fear based division among innocent mankind.  You know what I see, Michele.  Your dirty facts are out there...I've got a few more...I changed my mind again.  I want to talk about you.  You are the AntiChrist.  You warp the Old Testament...and every slant of esoteric at best spin of Leviticus words...Judges...Christ came to take that all away!!!!!  Where did you get your education?  A free online course?  At The Christian Based ORAL ROBERTS INSTITUTE?  The Oral Roberts law degrees...and shuffling of papers and false facts and credentials is where the poorly skilled students go when they can't pass law school? Cant pass the Bar...and they are desperate?  That's your credential.  And if you keep pursuing what your doing...We are in big TROUBLE! 

The foster children...all 23 of them, The many stories you've told us...altering slightly each time...or not even spoken of. It is your job to educate us on any of our questions, concerns and ideas...You are running and trying to convince us that you are strong enough to hold the metaphorical shield of protection with one arm...and keep us, as Americans safe and sound under your other arm.

This brings me to some thoughts and credential questions...and the qualifications and licensure procedures regarding the special clinical needs of your foster girls and what are the legalities regarding the transition of your home to a clinic. Some of those girls had problems beyond being unloved, shuffled around, going to a place where their keepers take cash...and can't wait to get the next kid in.  Surely I'm not implying anything here...not to Mrs Bachmann. Or her husband...in crime.  So, after digging around the truth and facts a sharp contrast to  are a very different reality than the bullsh** stories that you spin. 
Some of the children had the label of "eating disorder" "anxiety disorders".  Can you educate us on any of that.  According to the APA, PDA, PDR...it's pretty cut and dry regarding certian procedural rules of thumb that need to be followed.

To me, in my estimation if I may? There it looks like to me opportunity knocked...just like you and your fathers farm money...but, that's another story, again truth is a sharp contrast to your very different spin on "the facts". 
Back to Your Foster Parenthood. 

The children came 3 at maximum at a time...and the little blessed impressionable innocent children were placed in your care...and in your husbands. 

Due to the fact that a few had "psychiatric labels". For gosh sakes what innocent child wouldn't...given what is happening to them in a non working old broken system that you refuse to support a fix for. I can imagine such heinous acts of pure cruelty these little souls witnessed and experienced. I can only imagine...and I don't want to....but, my lips move in silent prayer...for the girls the Street Angels Your home. Your house.  The home you shared with your husband...your family...your roof over your head...and warm bed to sleep in...maybe,even next to your husband. Somehow someone someway gave the thumbs up and it was deemed and stamped eligible for government funding, state funding...etc...to have it labeled as a clinic of sorts. I need to know the procedures followed, and the roads and work taken to make this into legal reality?  That came into fruition...so quickly...so easily...Did your husband at the time have his online degree giving him the certain qulified and recognised credentials to care for these special class of girls? 

Please, Mrs Bachmann...I am in no way minimizing the work and tender love and care and attention you told the world that you so freely gave to these girls...I love you for that...and I pray for you...and those girls that had to move on...to the next home after an average of 3 months or so at your place.  That is a lot of work...a lot of specialized education , a lot of responsibility, a lot of dedication to your family, the foster children, your husband...and the qualifications to harbour a safe haven "clinic". Words are weird...spin them around a bit...and the same sentence can mean 3 very different things.  The wording of it...that's what my grandmother called it.

You said, during a public speech...something that brought instant tears to my eyes...like the saddest movie...the worst heartache...as if you were speaking about and to me...You told an audience your opinion of Melissa Etheridge, the famous beloved folksinger...her songs are so beautiful...full of hope...the excitement of love...  Michele Bachmann said that she has cancer now...and that is too bad...the good side of it is...she will have time to reflect on her gay sinful lifestyle.  What kind of a Monster would say something like that?  What kind of Monster?  I wasn't there...I read it, heard it from people...secondary to some people that were there.  I also know about spins on words...and doctored recordings...I pray with all my heart...Please, Michele...you didn't say it.  A woman, a mother...a foster mother to 23 children...anxiety ridden, mentally distressed children!~This is what I refuse to believe...because if you don't listen or look...sometimes it goes away.  But it always comes back...haunting you...scaring you...praying for it to stop because it's so sad...

So, to go on further if anyone...or even you, Michele Bachmann...and your husband Marcus Bachmann...father to countless children indeed.  Now that you have some capital...really GOOD capital...oh, I better back up a bit.  You were paid top dollar from state and government programs to have your beautiful home wear the "clinic" sign...and for the brave courageous girls that came through your home...for a few days...a month...almost a year...but, none of them were ever picked by you and your husband to stay...to stay longer...to adopt..."moving on"...I pray for nothing but, divine intervention for these girls...their chance in this, today's outrageous, extreme everything kind of world...you know as much as I so that they have a slim chance of having not just a semi normal life of happiness...and an even less of a chance to enjoy high luxuries.

That's what I think, read, discussed, gathered...all mashed together...I don't lie...take it for what it's worth.

I'm not finished yet.  I want to talk about your husband.  Dr. Marcus Bachmann.  The BARBARIAN name calling topic of yesterday.  This is what I've gathered...added with common sense...from me...and from people with big hearts.  One cannot tell a man's sexual preference by the way he walks, talks, acts...or his gestures and mannerisms.  Some men were raised exclusively around women...some guys are gentle...it doesn't matter.  My take?  I'm not a judge...and I don't but, here is my opinion. 
Dr Marcus Bachmann is the opposite to you in many ways...but,the best couples work out because a balance of strengths and abilities.  Michele...you speak of how people should be.  You bold face tell people how to love, act, vote for...you tell them boldly that they are the devils work...you know what you say...then lie from heaven to hell saying your recorded speech is not what you said...never said...I never did that...I think you are a master of disguises...and manipulation of the masses...You are incredible.  And, I still love you Michele.  You are from the same place as me...and yes, we are all equal...you little Constitution girl.

Dr Marcus Bachmann is a tall, strongly built man.  His blond hair is perfect...always...I don't know if it's a wig or a lot of hairspray...THAT DOESN'T MATTER.  And it shouldn't.  However with your nose in my bedroom constantly...and flashing around a label you want me to wear based on something so personal...you need to mind your own buisness...and clean your husbands kitchen or something.  But, where you've taken so many liberties to condemn me...or anybody like me...or everyone that does not fit into your cash vault which by the way is growing even larger by the infamously cruel Koch brothers gifts (EPA FINED FOR MASSIVE POLLUTION FAUX PAS AT LEAST $ 55 MILLION IN FINES...AND BIG SUPPORTERS OF MICHELE BACHMANN)...and you vomit stories in congress about the non existence of factual evidence of climate deterioration...you get a bump from Koch...and they bump back with the elimination of EPA...hey, you and your husbands...and all your foster kids breathe the air, drink the water...swim in the same toxins as everyone else...so that whole crime makes me feel that you are out of your mind...having moments of complete psychosis...Borderline probably...early childhood trauma, PTA, disconnect...espisodes of questionable characteristics of one with MPD...however not proven. 

Dr Bachmann is very effeminate in a very multi dimensional way.  Stereotypes...as if I were Michele Bachman using a biggoted form of speech that I find so offensive. Just becasue the shock of a bigots rhetoric is so old and tired and it's been done too much. I found this description. OMG! he is more "flaming" gay than me...and I'm wearing a red caftan and I'm smoking a Virgina Slim ciggarette through a long ladies ciggarette holere" to quote a comment from youtube.  There is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!  I'm trying to paint a picture...in the designs of what you, Michele Bachmann would do.  There are videos of him walking down a long hallway...while vigorously flapping and shaking and twirling his hands in the air.  Not Masculine by any stereotypical description that you would paint.  Another video of him in a crowded room, apparently after Michele Bachmann, gave a speech.  As he spoke to people and thanked them for (MONEY? DONATIONS?) he, to me...seemed a lot like a Broadway show actress...very Bette Midlerish, Marilyn Monroeish...you know, Farrah Fawcett smile...for a picture...his head and face and eyes...all wildly exaggerated.  So, again, I'm not judging...condemning...I wouldn't even notice...but, because he's the husband of Michele Bachman...the woman being scorned in horror by as many as those that would lick her boot.  I love you, Michle Bachmann.  Even though I think you are in part responsible for political based gun wars...shooting and deaths of innocent people...and also a cause of gay men and women so afraid because of people like you...they commit suicide and I metaphorically can see your name engraved on their bloddy blade. You could have helped...but, you and your husband's obsession with every ones sexuality...especially the small population of men and women that are GAY ABOMINATIONS.  The sinners.  The unGodly.  The..."fix them in your clinic Marcus...fix them...repairative therapy make them straight so I can love them...Marcus, You are raking in over 100 thousand dollars in government money to work on the gay to straight conversion therapy.  We have seen one of your employees on hidden camera offer this therapy...The Bachmann's Obsession With Gays...  I promise to you that this next statement is not a mean spirited jab but, did Dr Marcus Bachmann quit his gay to straight conversion half way through?  If you were a patient Michelle Bachmann...I would paint a metaphorical picture as you do...and this is your work...your business...your means of income...your words.  I think you are starting to act more and more like a "straight woman".  You are starting to wear heels...you can still see a strong masculine gait as you cross the stage to speak to a crowd...eager to learn...and you teach them absolutely NOTHING.  NOTHING.  What good are you going to do for The United States Of America, Michelle Bachmann?  You have the audacity to stand on a podium and look at frail Americans in the eye watching in crowds...on TV...everywhere...countless people....you have the balls to describe a plan of Eliminating...EVERY DAMN THING YOU HAVE HOOKED AND CROOKED FOR YEARS.  When you open your mouth to speak...I can honestly say in my heart and soul...I hear the cries of hell...the pain...the eternal suffering...the torture...eternal...in MICHELE BAHCMANN's self made hell.

Girl...you have really got to knock this shi* off.  The train is getting closer to the end of the world...and we as voters are being urged by you and your utter hate and lies...To give you the steering wheel?  I think not!

I'm gay Michele, for your own account.  I guess that's what I am...I used to date women...I fell in love with a man.  LOVE IS BLIND.  Stop making a mockery of love...come clean with yourself MICHELE BACHMANN!  If you and your husband made a perfect plan of hiding behind marriage because you're both gay...and feel like...no, this will take it away...It won't

MICHELE BACHMANN...every person that you're sending to MICHELE BACHMANN's HELL...YOU ARE GOING TO BE COMING WITH US.

I'm sorry for this Politician, Evangelical, Anger and Flame Typed article...I feel like Michele Bachmann, I feel like...now, I feel like hell.

Do you, Michele Bachmann?  Marcus?

I love you.  Without condition.

...and for you both...
I'm so sorry.

James Hillis Ford

SARAH PALIN, MITT ROMNEY, SHARRON ANGLE, RUSH, BECK AND COULTER...SHUT THE COITUS UP!

MITT ROMNEY! YOU ARE SO...full of the final part of a BULL'S digestion process. You know, the term that is largely used to describe your directionless mission- less flip flopping, claims of your heroism and your lack of any pride in your country.

I see you joined the others that make comments that cause murderous results.Now..against our President...you said something so mean and dumb! It seems like the same old rhetoric from some tea party gun wielding bigots.
Again, we are a recovering group of Massachusetts residents. With a swipe of your pen...and a shot of Aqua Net for you million dollar hair style...you stole...and you gained from many kick backs. Come down here from your fantasy self positioned Deity Throne,  MITT...even our "OLD MONEY FOLKS" don't press their jeans or pay the amount of somebodies (like me)  mortgage payment for your slick hair upkeep. MITT! Google your name and "crimes" you will see every article written about you and those that are suffering and gone from your crimes. The Closing and the disappearance of State Funds for places and people...such as The Fernald Center...you pulled the plug...and many, many people in need of critical care and a life, sadly suffered pain and even death because of your "plan".  I hear your voice echoing in my head as if I saw and heard you say..."Throw them away, I can't afford people that have special needs or have a high cost of land and medical care.  Let's tear down their safe haven...and put a mini mall in...and I"ll take that check from you for my stamp of CLOSED...my favor for "you know who"...MITT, CA-CHINGGG. $

You remind me of my old ex drug dealer. Yeah, the one that killed my best friend...the sneering dude that got us hooked on oxy contin. At $80 per whiff up your nose. Echoing are the lies that it will make Kenny's leg feel better after a fall on the job telescoping his leg...then finding his work on a State contract didn't cover "the particular 3' area" where he fell 3 stories down (even though he was in the roped area that was marked, "safe"!  There was a panel board covering the hole that led to his fall...

And me pre and post kidney surgery.  I'll help you, he said, this will stop your kidney pain..."OK, I'll do it..." and "...You remind me of MITT ROMNEY'...I said...

 Shiny car, hairspray jelled slick...like you MITT so slick, so bad.

To end with this analogous story about my drug dealer and me and my friend that I miss. You and he lied...promising to make us better...and now residents from State Care Facilities...and Ken died.

Me and many From Massachusetts...went bankrupt...and paid top dollar to survive. Mitt Romney and My Ex Drug dealer. You are all the same... 

Coitus you! (proper term over the street language version)

I'm reliving torture from MITT ROMNEY and my ex DRUG DEALER.My friend, Ken that took a gun to his head, was a licenced gun owner...just by walking in and signing a card!

He shot his head off and died...over drug addiction and a girl that played him like a fiddle for his drugs.

My sister that loved her life at The Fernald Center...she past in my arms when you started the plan to tear it down.  God bless her...she never had to live the horror.

These are the same LIES BETWEEN MITT ROMNEY and MY OLD EX DRUG DEALER. Until you can raise the dead...and give us our loved ones back in MASSACHUSETTS...and give our money back from your buddies deals with the huge high priced contracts...SHUT THE COITUS UP!

AND SARAH  PALIN or "PAIN IN" and SHARON ANGLE...RUSH LIMBAUGH and GLEN BECK, ANN COULTER...
COITUS YOU and SHUT THE COITUS UP!!!
YOU ALL PROVOKED AND PLAYED A PART IN SO MANY POLITICAL HATE MURDERS...

Coitus you all until you live and/or die in our shoes for a moment. You've hurt us...made us grieve and cry and mourn...and used lies and threats to silence us in Terror. Paul Revere should have been screaming,  "SARAH IS COMING...BACHMANN...COULTER...RUSH...BECK...CHENEY.."

1 if by land 2 if by sea...AND THEY HAVE GUNS. Get the Paul Revere story right, you are a real  metaphorical...Dumb jiggle Mafia-ish cartoon charachter. I heard a rumor. Can you clear it up, Hockey Mom that uses your special needs child as one of your pawns...as you wrote a huge book during a campaign tour....and hit up designers...wrote scripts that you couldn't stray from...(see Palin and Katie Couric and here and there magazines)...Is your special needs child yours? I have a couple of friends from Alaska that weren't gag ordered that say its Bristlols baby?

Just send me an email to let me know...
Actually, never mind...I see all of Sarah Palin's emails will be released to the public...Todd Palin's emails were just a taste of the blood...now yours Sarah...

SARAH PALIN, SHARRON ANGLE, MICHELLE BACHMAN, GLENN BECK, ANN COULTER, MITT ROMNEY, SEAN HANNITY, MIKE HUCKABEE, RUSH LIMBAUGH...YOU ALL USE GOD AS A WEAPON...SAYING YOU ARE DOING HIS WORK...JUST ONE QUESTION...AT THE GATES TO HEAVEN...WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY TO ST. PETER?  "OOOPS, I MADE A MISTAKE THERE...AND THERE....AND YES, I COAXED PEOPLE FOR THOSE MURDERS, YEAH, I LIED ABOUT HEALTH CARE, I URGED 2ND AMENDMENT REMEDIES...I USED BULLS EYE TARGET IMAGERY..."

I can see it now..."come here" said, St Peter, Guardian to the gates of Heaven...as he leads you to a weird elevator type thing...you all go in...and he pushes, "H"..."which cloud do I get" boasts Sarah..."H"

The elevator door opens at...
well you know where...

That's how they do it to us...scare us with God...

How bad, how wrong...
But, God...according to them...is the God that will do this...

I have tears and love for all of you...I apologize for being very graphic with descriptions...and my tone of the story is dark...I just slipped into what other Americans are feeling.  Some in Rage...Some in Tears...Some dying...Some mourning...and going homeless
So, There is THEY'RE VERSION OF FEAR...

And In Real God, Jesus, Higher Power...LOVE...

None of this exists with God.
ONLY LOVE...
 
But, the devil, said the angel...is very, very tricky...so pray and becareful...

And also, Sarah...how does it feel when crowds see you barge in...there is a mass BOOOOO. BOOOO! Do you get freaked?

palin romney sharron angle michelle bachman, beck, limbaugh, hannity and pazuzu working for the republican assasination of america americans calling for blood...fear not...return to love and they will go away

All images that I do not own were found on google and they belong to their rightful owners...credit is due for those individuals...also, they were not marked with a copyright nor being for a non public domain use.

Blood On Your Hands

In my honest opinion...even into my wildest dreams...I think our many prayers are starting to dissolve hate speak, scare speak, ugly speak...you know?

Great example never said...I don't make fun of people but, when I was attacked my her...she will always remain in my prayers as TRANNY ANNIE!

I guess that was somehow made up by a group that she injured.  And she has done a lot...of...injuries, humiliation, bullshi*

Nice clean excerpts from The Huffington Post (I LOVE HP)



"Coulter said Obama attempted to develop a doctrine on the Middle East that has helped topple governments who supported U.S. policies, such as that of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak

She argued that Obama and liberals only endorse military action in countries where U.S. interests aren't at stake, such as Libya. But she said they were critical of such action in Iraq that was aimed at keeping Saddam Hussein from building weapons of mass destruction and possibly threatening U.S. interests. In Libya's case, both Republicans and Democrats have criticized Obama for U.S. involvement in that country."




Ayers' April 2010 appearance in Laramie paid for half of Coulter's $20,000 speaking fee. UW's College Republicans and the Young America's Foundation, a Virginia-based group that promotes conservative ideas on college campuses, were paying the remainder and other expenses.




Some students opposed to her talk sought to turn the tables by holding a fundraiser for gays, lesbians and their advocates, which took financial pledges based on the length of Coulter's talk.



"It's a good thing I only spoke for 26 minutes," Coulter said later.

It would have been a good thing if you apologized to those you have harmed...and influenced.

This upset about Ann Coulter...that I have has been long running.

Could you imagine being body guarded ears stuffed....eyes glazed...and getting a whole years pay (from people like me) for screaming obnoxious, UNGODLY hateful and spiteful rhetoric....and still be able to go home and find yourself...waiting for you.  You go to bed...the voices of the souls that have perished...because you knowingly started the hate support...and it was a chain reaction...leading to murders of Dr. Tilton, The voices Ann....They will always haunt you.

I pray for you Ann....

Turn around...you have no idea about...love, gratitude, children, people...

Must be lonely.
Tea Party....
Into hiding...

I ask anyone to pray for her....and her words of love via book and speeches could be sooo healing in a big way.  I hope she lives with all that rage in her...she seems ready to burst and have a total cerebral hemorrhage...cardiac aneurysms...

Ann can't face truth or reason.  She and her Saddam comment almost made me hurl...remember the Arms Hearing?  Colin Powell?  Reagn and Bush #1?  We sold nuclear warheads, artillery, weapons of war and mass destruction.

Pepole are boooooooing her of stage...making offensive remarks as I pointed out above.  Wisconsin...look, people have had enough.

Write with a different slant...you could be an author/character like...The Witch in Hansel and Gretal...Wicked Queen...

She is human too.
Hard to believe.

I love you guys...
See what anger can motivate...
I'm starting to upload my stories again...



By the way...
She uses the word faggot...loosely...and publicly it as an offensive it as a badge.

How can she do this...

FERNALD CENTER IN WATHAM MASSACHUSETTS IS BEING CLOSED BY GREEDY CRIMINALS THAT DISCARD THE SEVERLY DISABLED!!!

Photo of Residents and The Loving Staff From The Fernald Center's Pool.

Please Help Save Them!

I'd really like to tell my family story a little bit.  I'm focused on my sister that passed away not too long ago. It is a little bit sad but, she changed my life and it certainly confirms my belief that we are all sent here on a mission and we don't leave until the mission is accomplished.  I'm not going to get into religion or into a lot of  other issues. Maybe just a touch on faith and heaven. I can be long winded so I'm going to try really hard to make this story very brief.

Today was a day of memory and celebration.

I had a "disabled" sister that passed a way not too long ago. She wasn't supposed to even reach puberty but, Patty was stronger, smarter and wiser than I'll ever hope to be. Patty couldn't talk much. She couldn't walk. She needed constant care...she couldn't just go get an ice cream or download a bootleg. She never had a date...although she was very attracted to men. She could never get the hottest haircut or neatest pair of shoes because...her hair was kept short for care taking needs and she couldn't go to Filene's Basement to get a great deal on shoes. She was so "disabled" that she was very limited in what she was "physically" able to do.

We all grew up with Patty at home and she was just our sister. We always knew her the way she was so...it was not like she had a bad car wreck or something and she was now different. We just took for granted, like most of us do, that she was just our sister...how little we knew.

As we got older Patty ran into respiratory problems requiring a breathing tube and a feeding tube implanted into her throat. She lived less than 10 minutes from me in a facility that is now closing due to State and Federal cutbacks

There is a great mission to close The Fernald Center in Waltham MA.  There is a lot of politics, greed and corruption involved.  There is much behind the scenes shady dealings...and illegal corner cutting to swiftly make a deal.  I have attended the meetings at the city hall in Waltham, MA.  The Fernald Center is a Safe Haven and A Protected Community For The Severely Disabled, Severely Mentally Handicapped.  A piece of property with a staff of Medical Doctors and others that dedicate their lives to these beautiful souls.  These are people that need constant professional, protected care.  They live in a community of care, comfort and safety.  Many have been discarded by families.  Many have families that weren't equipped to care for a child at home due to the nature of their professional, medical needs.  Families would visit the residents and see such joy in them...and cherish the fact that the TEAM devote their lives for pennies to ensure they have the best space in time possible.  Mitt Romney, ex-Governor of Massachusetts, current Governor, Deval Patrick and many, many greedy, corrupt groups want to capitalize on the land.  People at the City Hall meetings propose and pitch ideas...LOOKING FOR FEDERAL AND STATE FUNDS to put in stores, an apartment complex, a bus stop, a dog park...You name it.  Everything and Anything except what is the right thing.  Even if you have no God...We must care for the least among us.  These Cold Hearted Criminals are choosing a bus, a tree and a convenient store over human beings.  People in desperate need of care and protection.  People that don't have what so many of us take for granted...walking, talking...etc.  These proposals and meetings should never take place!  Shame on all of them for not choosing a human being.  The Fernald Center is almost gone.  Clients have been placed in crowded, understaffed, inadequate small group homes.  The precious folks that needed urgent critical care...are now disappearing...dismissed, discarded and forgotten.  Some were put into a postage stamp apartment, given a small stipend of a check, and a promise to have a "check in" from time to time.  Yeah, Right.  Many were returned to their families.  Very elderly parents that love their children...but, just can't save them.  Can you believe this?  Why isn't their funding for these people...with hearts that break like ours...feelings that get hurt like ours...but, fear and pain that we will never know.  Care that we, Thank God, will never require.  Corporate greed and those that benefit...how can they enjoy their luxury by murdering...or torturing...or putting people in danger...knowing full well that they did it?

 My sister died just before turning 40. She would not have lived without her caretakers in that facility. Especially one lady that dedicated almost 15 years to my sister. She misses my sister terribly. As do I.

My sister's favorite holiday was Thanksgiving. In the residence where she lived her caretaker and staff would always prepare a Thanksgiving dinner in their bungalow for the patients and staff. Although my sister couldn't mash the potatoes or season the gravy, she was the boss on this day. It was her special day when she felt SO important. She would sit in a specially designed chair where she could sort of sit upright (built by my grandfather...a Carpenter off the boat from Scotland) and communicate to everyone through eye movements, wild erratic hand gestures, and by kicking her feet on this special chair. Everyone asked her what to do and if it wasn't to her liking...she let it be known. Everyone in my sister's very small world knew her very well...and knew her communication methods...and they knew when she meant business.

In honor of my sister Patty, my sister Cathi (a 12 year politician in one of the cities near me that quit politics when she finally realized how corrupt it is...how many scams go on...and where state and federal money really goes...etc...) and her politician friends (good ones) gather together and fund a really big Thanksgiving dinner for the remaining patients and staff and families etc... My sister's picture is set up on a little table and everybody floods in for the buffet. I knew she is there with us...having a ball and laughing her ass of at me skidding across the floor on spilled cranberry jell and then crashing in to the dessert buffet table (yes, I'm as graceful as a ballerina wearing lead boots).

My sister fought her way back to life so many times that there is no way I don't believe in miracles. I can't count how many times I was called to "prepare for the worst" only for my sister to have a complete recovery the next day. She was pushing and fighting for her life in her little "disabled" body everyday...but,for what reason?

One day I was called at work by my sister Cathi and she said, we have to go to Patty's...it's almost time. I work for an airline and it's really hard for people to reach me so, I should have realized the seriousness of her infection this time. I just took for granted that Patti struggled for life and just figured she'd be fine in a couple of days. My sister picked me up at the airport and we drove to her little bungalow on the grounds of the facility. It was pretty late at night near the end of summer and all was so quiet. My sister had a very pink girly room decorated with pink ribbons, purple curtains, hearts and...well you get it...a little girls room. The nurse whispered to us that she's comfortable and pulled my sister aside and motioned for me to go in. I did. I could hear her little tiny rock waterfall running...the hum of her oscillating fan...and the sound of her breathing machine. She didn't waken or even stir. I was cracking my wise ass jokes to her (she loved it when I would cuss...and tell her she had a fat ass, even though she didn't) and I was feeling her forehead, hands and cheeks with little touches that she loved. I spent time whispering to her that I loved her and gossiping about the staff and movie stars and stuff. When I returned to my other sister and the nurse I was told to "prepare for the worst" again. I just took for granted that when the sun comes up and it was time for her lilac bath she'd be just fine again. I was made aware of the DNR paperwork but, I really didn't think anything was all that serious. My sister drove me home and I chatted with her about nothing much.

The next morning before I even woke for work my phone was ringing. The doctor called and said, "you'd better come right away." I don't know if it's a protection thing I have or, the fact that I was focusing on how crappy things were in my life at that time or, just refusing to believe that my sister would be leaving earthly bonds soon or whatever because, I didn't freak, panic, get sad or run out my door screaming. I just pulled on a t shirt and jeans, brushed my teeth and dabbed a little lemon-patchouli on my neck and I got in my car and took the 10 minute drive to Patty's HOME, THE FERNALD CENTER. To my sister that I always took for granted that she was going to always be ok.

My various family members and friends came and went all day from my sister's bungalow. People came from everywhere. I had NO idea how many people's lives my sister touched. I had NO idea how loved she was. I had NO idea what I was in store for that day. NO idea.

I stayed by Patty's bed all day long in her room crowded with people coming and going all day. I took tiny breaks for a smoke or a sip of coffee but, I basically knew I needed to be caressing Patty's hand at all times...or smoothing her forehead...or whispering in her ear gossip about how I thought the cute doctor was having an affair with the girl from the medical files department (whom by the way came too).

I took a 10 minute break to make some important calls. I called my shrink...he was there for me if I needed him. I called out of work. The important call that I urgently needed to make was last. I didn't even know her number. I hadn't talked to her in a couple of years actually. I, at that point, didn't know why it was urgent that I get in touch with her. I somehow got her number and had her on the phone in about 50 seconds. My friend Esther from California. My friend Esther is an older Southern lady that was a waitress where I used to live in Beverly Hills. She is my spiritual mentor. She is amazing. I briefly told her what was going on...and she said hold on I'm coming to you. I was kind of like what...? (she was on the West Coast and I'm on the East) I heard her take a deep breath and I was just about to say, "uuuh...I'll call you back..." She spoke then. She said ok I'm here with you. You're sister room is so cute...it's all pink and has purple curtains...there is soft piano music playing...the tall doctor is here...there's your Ma...etc. Time just stopped for me. She then took a gasp and I asked her if she was ok. She said, she was fine but, she'd never seen anything like this. First of all I was freaked that she described the place to a T. I was freaked that she described every minute detail of the situation to me. What almost made me faint and drop the phone and race back to my sister's side was what she last told me. "I've never seen anything like this...the room is crowded and lots and lots of people are coming and going but, what amazes me is that the room is so jammed with angels that it was hard to see one from the other...everyone in that room has at least 1 angel. The doctor has 2. Your sister has many but, many are just there sent to wait for her to 'finish up'...BUT...it's you outside the side door smoking is what I'm shocked about. YOU have many, many personal angels...always there with you...holding you up...making sure your safe...etc..." She told me that she's never witnessed a single soul on the planet that is completely surrounded at a ll times by so many angels. She told me something about dark periods in my life and blah, blah, blah...but she's NEVER going to worry about me...I'll always be fine. She then said I'm leaving there...and that your sister needs you right away. Then, I ran to her side like a drama queen, pushing my way past people and right to her side. I said in a loud voice, "someone open the window"...and they did. I asked every body to stand really close...(I was being looked at a little strangely by some of the people) The next thing is Patti's caretaker and best friend said to me...Oh my! Patty smells just like you. I looked at her like, "whaa?" (maybe the patchouli lemon?) I put my right arm underneath and around my sister's shoulder...my other sister Cathi was on the left side of the bed with Patty's caretaker/best friend...my mom was right behind me...my brother in law was at the foot of the bed with my brother Deano. The room was jammed. I put my cheek next to my sisters...the room was in prayer...I was whispering in my sister's left ear...caressing her left palm...and I was telling her that hey...we're all here Patti...and that I was giving her kisses from Nana who was too sick to make it to her...I was giving kisses from Aunt Joan that was far away in Seattle...I told her not to worry about us...that we'll always be together etc...A staff member(oddly enough a Southern woman that wore her hair just like my friend Esther) said aloud, " Patty, what are you hanging around for, honey?" My brother in law (a fireman) said her respiration are at zero or something like that...one of the doctors listened to hear heart and said, "she's still here..." I then whispered in her ear a wish of love and thanks and a little bit of what my friend told me on the phone...I told her I was going to be just fine...and she doesn't have to worry about me anymore (I don't know what prompted me to say that...) Time DID stand still...a tiny hint of a breeze escaped from my sister's lips...I swear I felt the massive energy of great movement whisk through me and out the window for about 15 seconds...then I said, "I think she's gone...she's gone." It was really, really quiet. The doctor listened to her heart and checked her vitals and confirmed that Patty had "died".

Then there was one more weird thing that I forgot to mention. All day long, while we all hung out, while all the people were coming and going...there was a little chipmunk or a baby squirrel in my sister's window scratching at the screen. Even when I had them open the window and the screen he was on the top part of the screen...scratching away all day long. I don't know what made me think about it at that point but, he was gone...the scratching stopped...Then little by little sounds came back. I could hear her little waterfall...I could hear her piano music (by the way her favorite piano piece is called "Winterlight" and Linda Ronstadt did a song for it) on loop all day again...I could sense movement...then I heard the sobs. Even the big cute doctor was in tears.

I gave my sister's forehead a little kiss. I was calm as hell.

I walked out just in time to run into my father...just showing up. I told him what he missed.

My sister in law was out in front and wanted to go in...so I took my niece and someone else's kid...I don't remember...and we were blowing bubbles and playing.

I stayed out of the drama and chaos going on in the room...and  the preparation of my sister's "body". blah blah blah.

Patty's mission was finally complete here. Her job was over and she had to get home. She waited until she was sure things were going to be cool here.

That we were all going to be alright. That "I" was going to be alright.

I'm so sorry for making this into a LONG depressing story but, I'm going to sum it all up now in a few more sentences.

Remember how I said the bit about everyone having a mission here? Patty was the wisest person I'll ever, ever know. Her body limited her physically but, her very being moved great, great things bigger than mountains. My family was extremely torn up. We had your more than average dysfunctional family thing going on.  Patty stitched the family back together that day. She taught us a lot of things. And set a great example. This is what I learned. You should have no limits on love...the capacity of love...or the willingness of love. Things aren't always what they seem. People are not always what you make them out to be. You have choices in life over being happy or miserable. My sister was labeled "disabled" but, she was not. In fact when people bring her up and say things like, "the poor things was so..." I kindly but firmly reply that she was the happiest person I'll ever know and that her quality of life was so much greater than anything many of us we'll ever know. My sister could have spent her time here being in a very miserable state of being. She chose smiles and laughter. She chose not to hide the fact that she was VERY happy to see you. She chose not to harbor ill feelings about what she couldn't do...She chose not to feel jealous. She made her choices with the hand she was dealt...I believe she was given her mission before coming here and carried it out very well. This tiny, disabled person held the capacity to do things I could never do...even if I went to school and studied my whole life. She just held wisdom. Her courage was like that of something that could never be summoned by me. Her demons were that of immense physical pain. She chose joy through her pains. She didn't get a degree, have sex, or even have the horrible task of paying bills and writing checks.

Yet, she fought hard for every day to live just to be with the people she loved.

Yeah, I have my ups and downs like everybody else. I'm late for work sometimes or I cuss out a friend for thinking they've dissed me. I've hurt people's feelings. BUT...I never take anything for granted anymore. I, and a lot of us have so many more "gifts" and "abilities" that we'll never realize or be able to tap into. I cherish my loved ones, my planet, my abilities and I cherish that day when I was able to be there for my sister's last breath. I don't think I'll ever bear witness to something as awesome as that day ever again. I'll never forget what I've learned from my sister. I'm so thankful of what I have and what I don't have. I'm open to learning new things. And the most important thing is that I've realized that my sister, you, my partner and even my nasty boss at my first job that fired me...is perfect. In every way. You ask me about perfection in some people? What purpose could some possibly serve but evil and hatred? I'm not sure but, I think it's all about balance. That they were sent here for some reason too. For some mission.

If you don't like this story I hope you didn't read down to this line. If you want to comment that's cool. If you don't that's cool too. Just please, if you're going to say something nasty...you have the right. I just hope you don't do it today.

I really believe that I was "touched by an angel".

Jim

PS...I'm really sorry about this long, long supposedly going to be a quick story. I get carried away on this subject. I just wanted to let you know 1 more thing. Patty was my 1/2 sister. I never knew or saw her real mom. She was from my dad's first marriage. Her mother died in childbirth. Something really bad happened to me not long after she passed. I was on my way for a few seconds. I DID see my sister again. She looked differently. Remember how I said her hair was kept really short and her body was mis-shapen? I was...for what seemed like a few minutes was looking up caught up in some kind of breeze and I was standing in front of my sister and a woman was standing behind her. Patti's hair was really long and caught up in the breeze...the woman behind her looked oddly like my other 1/2 brother David. They were both smiling at me...and it's hard to describe...kind of sparkly...then the wind was strong and I felt a really hard jolt. Like a massive snap or something.

And I heard the doctor say, "he's back..." I'm not going to elaborate on this one but, I will say this. "I" know that this time here isn't the end and that true, real love...never, ever dies.

Some time later I was shown some pictures of my sister's real mom.

That woman standing behind my sister smiling was Patti's mother. They are together again.

I feel my mission is not finished here. I believe Patti brought her mom with her for me to see them together.

I believe Patti flung me back to my loved ones. To someone that needed me...or may need me someday.

Prayers and Wishes for all things good for you...as one of God's creatures...you are so deserving.

Be Good to yourself and others...

You never know when you might be entertaining angels...